either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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