Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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