so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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