do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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