also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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