He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
