You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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