While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
