he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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