you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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