I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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