On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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