this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
