I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Jerry, you need to find god
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
