imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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