Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
