its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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