If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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