i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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