Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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