She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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