Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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