So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
