think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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