i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
