No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
