dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
