Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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