theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
