This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize