I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
