Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
