dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
