perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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