i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
