What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize