Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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