small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
