If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
