Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
