Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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