You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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