How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
