just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
