I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So squirting runs in the family.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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