You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize