And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
