I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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