got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
