just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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