so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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