He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
its not stalking. its research.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
