Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
