before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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