i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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