I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
