I met the friendliest cop last night
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
