I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
